Omg lol. There's nothing wrong with the first one at all. Idk why the people asking for translations are like that. A friend of mine was saying she was a cleaner for a sub group bc she's fluent in English (and also Chinese) and they, the not-fluent people, were arguing with her about changes. She posted them too and I was like wtf, those are absolutely right in English. The other stuff sounded stilted and awkward.
I mean, if you're translating, presumably you're trying to make the person in the translated TO language understand the meaning lol.
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I mean, if you're translating, presumably you're trying to make the person in the translated TO language understand the meaning lol.