Changes

Meh. Life has been uninspiring. Nothing bad, just nothing special. It's going as well as it can be.

Birthday passed, no mood at all. Big fight with Mom. She's upset with me that "I'm not generous enough to understand my Sis needs help", and I'm upset with her "with this reasoning, never ever for the rest of my life will you include me for fun stuff." Now it seems like... nothing happened. There's an invisible line of politeness. Is that what people say an impasse? Sure, that's great. I don't need to try so hard anymore to get on her good side. There's no place for me on her any side anyway.

Mechanic booked the annual inspection for my car early. "But my car is schedule to be inspected in March?" I asked. "It's fine, January-March inspections can be booked any time within these 3 months," he replies. I never heard of it, but okay, he's the specialist.

Mechanic threw in a car cleaning for me, haha, apparently my car was too dirty for his liking. But hey, his cars aren't that much more cleaner, so I don't get why he's so ticked by my dusty car. The inside is clean, it's just the outside that's dusty and leafy because I park outdoors. But I've started a new ritual now. I use a feather duster to swipe over the leaves and dust every morning before I leave for work now.

Korean classes have started. Korean vowels are weird. It's not an actual A-E-I-O-U by sound. It sounds like A-Oh-Ou-Uuh-Eh-I. I don't mind so much the Korean writing. We're still going through the "alphabets" and maybe next week will finish the basics. Then we'll go to "combination alphabets" I guess.

Chinese class structure is better this term than the last term. But the admin part of it is terrible. The teachers keep forgetting to upload course materials, update assignment dates (they're still using the due dates from the previous semester for this semester), so it's vexing in another way.

Book: Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism

Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism
Amanda Montell
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What makes “cults” so intriguing and frightening? What makes them powerful? The reason why so many of us binge Manson documentaries by the dozen and fall down rabbit holes researching suburban moms gone QAnon is because we’re looking for a satisfying explanation for what causes people to join—and more importantly, stay in—extreme groups. We secretly want to know: could it happen to me? Amanda Montell’s argument is that, on some level, it already has . . .

Our culture tends to provide pretty flimsy answers to questions of cult influence, mostly having to do with vague talk of “brainwashing.” But the true answer has nothing to do with freaky mind-control wizardry or Kool-Aid. In Cultish, Montell argues that the key to manufacturing intense ideology, community, and us/them attitudes all comes down to language. In both positive ways and shadowy ones, cultish language is something we hear—and are influenced by—every single day.

Through juicy storytelling and cutting original research, Montell exposes the verbal elements that make a wide spectrum of communities “cultish,” revealing how they affect followers of groups as notorious as Heaven’s Gate, but also how they pervade our modern start-ups, Peloton leaderboards, and Instagram feeds. Incisive and darkly funny, this enrapturing take on the curious social science of power and belief will make you hear the fanatical language of “cultish” everywhere.

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I planned this to be a slow listen-when-I-have-time for background noise but parts of the book had caught my attention, so this was a very pleasant surprise.

Reading the other reviews, maybe because I listened to the book, so the “getting back to this later” didn’t quite get me (though I know I’ve heard that at least thrice), there were parts of the book that really caught my interest.

Not sure if author meant as a tongue in cheek or in all seriousness, but on why some people are more susceptible to these cult bs language is when you’re in a good mood… and when you’re in bad mood you catch the BS more easily, so ergo, stay grumpy? I guess. I wonder if that’s why I can catch these cult-ish vibes so early on.

I also never thought to class fitness groups into cults but it seems to make sense.

Pretty eye-opening as I haven’t read that many books on cults yet. I felt like this was a good intro to it.