Le Friday Five 10-June

[elusivek]

1. How many close friends do you have?
Very very close friends? 3 main groups. 1 - P and C (also my travel buddies) with whom I've known since Primary school, 2 - J and R and W (less travel buddies, more restaurant sampling group), and 3 - M and S, work related friends.

2. Do you make friends easily or more slowly?
I guess I'm easy to get acquainted with, but it'll take a long time for an acquaintance to become a friend. And I mean a real long time.

3. Who is your friend of longest standing? How often do you talk to him/her?
This needs some long explaining. It would have to be one of the "Portuguese class" groups. In Primary school, Chinese was one of the main subjects, but "foreigner" families or families who think they don't need to know Chinese can opt out and instead take Portuguese. Each year, or grade, has around 3 or 4 classes (e.g. Primary 4A, Primary 4B, Primary 4C, etc...) depending on how many students are in that year... The school says it's random but it's always been rumours that it's by your score. the A classes are people with good grades, etc... There's usually 3 classes of around 40 students each, and there's like only a handful like less than 15 who opt out of Chinese. Because of the way classes are set up, say for example, 4A and 4B will not coincide and have the same class at the same time. So in order for these "Portuguese takers" to be able to take Portuguese together, they have to be grouped into the same class. So right on since Kindergarten, I've been grouped with the same group of people.

I wouldn't say they are really "friends" as in good friends... but they were friends at one point in time, and they are of the longest standing. They would be Diana (now in UK or Portugal), Michelle (was a bully, now in UK), Marisa (left for UK then came back), Micaela (never left Macau I think), Guida (don't know what's of her, Facebook tells me she plays a lot of games), Felix (I think he's now in Canada), Rodrigo (rumours say he's now a tour guide in Brazil), Antonio (I think he's in the TV or media business in Australia), Emmanuel (local football (soccer) guy now), Stanley (I think he went to the UK now). These were my earliest earliest very earliest friends (maybe except for Michelle the bully, she recently tried to butter me up on Facebook, but meh)

Of these, the only one I have had any recent contact is Marisa. We pass by each other once in a while when getting to work.

4. Do you think that your closest friends today will be your closest friends ten years from now?
I think yes. I'm very comfortable with them and how they are now. Usually marriage ruins everything (I mean, once a friend gets married I never hear from them anymore, I guess unless until the day I get married then we can "share the same topics"? huh)

5. What's the best basis for friendship: shared values, shared opinions, or shared activities?
From my last phrase above, I'd say shared activities is a very important factor. I don't think opinions matter much as each can have their own opinion and still be friends, as long as we respect each other. I'd say values would be a pretty important factor too.

Comments

[deadlevel.livejournal.com]

interesting idea for a survey. enjoyed reading.

it'll take a long time for an acquaintance to become a friend. And I mean a real long time.

can really relate to that.

[kurikuribebi]

I only have one friendship that has lasted more than 5 years. I always seem to befriend people who never grow and change as individuals, so we end up losing interest in each other rather quickly.

[spikesgirl58.livejournal.com]

Very interesting answers and I think you are right. When we got married, all our friends sort of shifted. We kept reaching out to them, but for some reason they didn't want to hang with us, even though we'd been together and friends long before getting married. It's just something that seems to happen.

[memphis-kid.livejournal.com]

Guida ... Facebook tells me she plays a lot of games. LOL! facebook tells me that too

[eyesonstars.livejournal.com]

I do agree that shared activities can maintain a relationship even through the marriage of one but it does takes two to tango if the one in 'a relationship' is aware of needing to continuing to nurture one's friendships before they fall away from lack of friendship activities. Other times, you have to wait out their 'busy' times so they can start spending more time with you.

As for shared opinions, mostly I do agree but sometimes when a person talks about their religion and it's impact on their lives, a little bit is alright but other times it feels like they're pushing their religion on me. Those tend to be friends in small doses.

[notte0.livejournal.com]

I simply just don't like to be forced. the trend here nowadays is to open "Facebook shops" (just like online shops where agreements of buy/sell are made through facebook, then pay upon goods receipt or something similar). Some of my acquaintances just send all their requests to "like" their shops... when they know for a fact I have no interest in what they sell (e.g. baby clothes, when I don't even have a baby).

It's really a small issue, but deep in my heart I really dislike that. So we are friends, you should know I have no interest, then why are you still sending me those?

[eyesonstars.livejournal.com]

It seems those are the 'friends' that rely on you to upkeep/maintain the relationship. It depends on how much of an annoyance it is (the facebook shops-liking)because small things can build up over time to wreck a relationship.