Chinese Wedding Banquet
Sunday, 28 February 2021 01:07![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elusivekJust came back home from a Chinese Wedding Banquet I went to today. I was a bit miffed when I received the invitation, because in Chinese culture (not sure if there is a difference between North/South China and/or any provincial differences), if you receive a wedding invitation, you HAVE to gift whoever invited you (either the bride/groom or the parents of the bride/groom).
If you get an invitation from the groom, you get just the invitation. If you get an invitation from the bride, the invitation will include a coupon for cakes. Usually a dozen of portion sized cakes. Don't ask me for details of why, coz, although someone sometime had already explained it to me, I've forgotten it all LOL.
So because of this "you have to gift whoever invited you" thing, recently it has become more common to ask first. "Hey, are you free on this and this day? My son is getting married!" If you say yes, then they will issue you the invitation. If it's the bride's side that asks and you say no, they may still gift you the cake coupon, but you are under no obligation to gift anything back, because you did not get the invitation.
And I was blindsidedly bombed. (We do use bomb to say we got an invitation). So I figured, I will have to gift them anyway, I might as well eat that bloody meal. And then, how much you gift is another mental game. You have to think about the venue. It's a high class venue? Then you need to up your game. Also, you have to consider your relationship to the person that invited you. Good friend? Top price. Distant colleague? Low range. You are actually the boss? You better gift a whole lotta money. There's a running gag that there's a "price table" out there. Also, you have to think about the numbers too. You don't gift anything with a 4 ($400 or $4000) as 4 is an unlucky word. $800 would be good for a distant friend/colleague. In the end I decided to go a little mid-range as I guessed (and I guessed correctly) that the guy who invited me considered me as someone from the "Executive Office".
So the location is top range, the Wynn Palace. I make my way there, see my colleague (the groom's father, so I didn't get cake coupons, LOL, yes, that is what I'm worried about LOL. I'm kidding of course). They say hi, we exchange pleasantries, then they escort me to the mah-jong room as many colleagues are still in there playing a game of mah-jong. Funnily enough, I see my next-door neighbor. She is a guest from the bride's side.
I only know very rudimentary rules of mah-jong, and probably what I know is more Japanese mah-jong than proper Cantonese (or whatever) mah-jong they were playing. I heard them mention they were playing Shenzhen Mahjong. Whatever the heck that means. I enjoy witnessing the banter and screaming match.
Eventually I get seated. And as I know how irritating my life can be, they seated me at the Executive Office table. I was the only secretary/executive assistant that showed up. The others were the big bosses. And not even my boss (he was not invited). So... it was like.... there was no common topic of conversation. Before the Coronavirus, a table would seat 12 people. But now to minimize large group gathering, it's 8 people a table. Also, usually the set up is with a lazy Susan, but since there is no lazy Susan here, we guessed that dishes will be served by portion. Again, probably to avoid possible cross-contamination when picking up food from the central plate.
I look at the menu to pass the time. All very standard. The flow is usually fixed. Starts with a suckling pig, some kind of conpoy and veggie, shrimps or prawns, soup, some kind of seafood, steamed fish, crispy chicken, rice or noodle (choice for the guest), dessert soup and then petit fours and fresh fruit. Standard stuff. Toasting (the bride and groom will walk around the banquet room to toast with everyone) starts around when the soup is served.
Since I've never been to a proper Western wedding, I don't know how it usually goes. For the local weddings, they usually show a short video of the bride and groom's life before and after meeting through some photo flip throughs. Then it's a quick cake cutting and toasting (they have to hook their arms to toast). I guess the bride is also from some animal rescue association so she put a short ad for that.
I think it's another Coronavirus adaptation. Usually there's a lot of fanfare and Chinese music when the suckling pigs come out and servers file through the banquet hall with the pigs. Maybe Wynn is more high class? Or because they are serving by portioned plates so there isn't really a pig per table, the servers just stood around silently with the suckling pigs for a bit, then returned to the carving station.
I was so so so so bored during the dinner. The big bosses were talking about whatever they were talking about. I was just sitting there eating. They tried to make me drink wine. I said I was driving. They tried again and said don't worry, just stop at around 10pm. I let them pour me a glass of Lafite Rothschild 2011 Pauillac. No idea if it's a good wine, but I suppose it's an expensive one coz the colleague that invited us brought it to our table (only our table had this bottle of wine). I then joked "if I'm driving my own car it's fine, but I'm driving my Mom's car, so I better tone it down). I guess I only had 2 sips of wine. I don't like wine anyway.
Near the end, a few big bosses started leaving, so I jumped ship and went down some 4 tables and sat with my old gang/colleagues. It was way more fun down there. Why did they put me up with the bosses? Since it was a big party, it took forever for the photo taking to reach company colleagues. When they called Groom's Dad's colleagues from the Executive Office, I was the only one going up there, because all the other big bosses left... I yelled at other colleagues "hey just come up! Groom's Dad's assorted colleagues!" And up everyone went. Saved a couple of group shots that way LOL.
Gee. It's been a long time since I went to a wedding banquet. My friends (those who are the marrying type) have all married off, so I didn't expect I'd have to go to another banquet. But guess I've reached the age where my colleague's kids are getting married *rolls eyes*
If you get an invitation from the groom, you get just the invitation. If you get an invitation from the bride, the invitation will include a coupon for cakes. Usually a dozen of portion sized cakes. Don't ask me for details of why, coz, although someone sometime had already explained it to me, I've forgotten it all LOL.
So because of this "you have to gift whoever invited you" thing, recently it has become more common to ask first. "Hey, are you free on this and this day? My son is getting married!" If you say yes, then they will issue you the invitation. If it's the bride's side that asks and you say no, they may still gift you the cake coupon, but you are under no obligation to gift anything back, because you did not get the invitation.
And I was blindsidedly bombed. (We do use bomb to say we got an invitation). So I figured, I will have to gift them anyway, I might as well eat that bloody meal. And then, how much you gift is another mental game. You have to think about the venue. It's a high class venue? Then you need to up your game. Also, you have to consider your relationship to the person that invited you. Good friend? Top price. Distant colleague? Low range. You are actually the boss? You better gift a whole lotta money. There's a running gag that there's a "price table" out there. Also, you have to think about the numbers too. You don't gift anything with a 4 ($400 or $4000) as 4 is an unlucky word. $800 would be good for a distant friend/colleague. In the end I decided to go a little mid-range as I guessed (and I guessed correctly) that the guy who invited me considered me as someone from the "Executive Office".
So the location is top range, the Wynn Palace. I make my way there, see my colleague (the groom's father, so I didn't get cake coupons, LOL, yes, that is what I'm worried about LOL. I'm kidding of course). They say hi, we exchange pleasantries, then they escort me to the mah-jong room as many colleagues are still in there playing a game of mah-jong. Funnily enough, I see my next-door neighbor. She is a guest from the bride's side.
I only know very rudimentary rules of mah-jong, and probably what I know is more Japanese mah-jong than proper Cantonese (or whatever) mah-jong they were playing. I heard them mention they were playing Shenzhen Mahjong. Whatever the heck that means. I enjoy witnessing the banter and screaming match.
Eventually I get seated. And as I know how irritating my life can be, they seated me at the Executive Office table. I was the only secretary/executive assistant that showed up. The others were the big bosses. And not even my boss (he was not invited). So... it was like.... there was no common topic of conversation. Before the Coronavirus, a table would seat 12 people. But now to minimize large group gathering, it's 8 people a table. Also, usually the set up is with a lazy Susan, but since there is no lazy Susan here, we guessed that dishes will be served by portion. Again, probably to avoid possible cross-contamination when picking up food from the central plate.
I look at the menu to pass the time. All very standard. The flow is usually fixed. Starts with a suckling pig, some kind of conpoy and veggie, shrimps or prawns, soup, some kind of seafood, steamed fish, crispy chicken, rice or noodle (choice for the guest), dessert soup and then petit fours and fresh fruit. Standard stuff. Toasting (the bride and groom will walk around the banquet room to toast with everyone) starts around when the soup is served.
Since I've never been to a proper Western wedding, I don't know how it usually goes. For the local weddings, they usually show a short video of the bride and groom's life before and after meeting through some photo flip throughs. Then it's a quick cake cutting and toasting (they have to hook their arms to toast). I guess the bride is also from some animal rescue association so she put a short ad for that.
I think it's another Coronavirus adaptation. Usually there's a lot of fanfare and Chinese music when the suckling pigs come out and servers file through the banquet hall with the pigs. Maybe Wynn is more high class? Or because they are serving by portioned plates so there isn't really a pig per table, the servers just stood around silently with the suckling pigs for a bit, then returned to the carving station.
I was so so so so bored during the dinner. The big bosses were talking about whatever they were talking about. I was just sitting there eating. They tried to make me drink wine. I said I was driving. They tried again and said don't worry, just stop at around 10pm. I let them pour me a glass of Lafite Rothschild 2011 Pauillac. No idea if it's a good wine, but I suppose it's an expensive one coz the colleague that invited us brought it to our table (only our table had this bottle of wine). I then joked "if I'm driving my own car it's fine, but I'm driving my Mom's car, so I better tone it down). I guess I only had 2 sips of wine. I don't like wine anyway.
Near the end, a few big bosses started leaving, so I jumped ship and went down some 4 tables and sat with my old gang/colleagues. It was way more fun down there. Why did they put me up with the bosses? Since it was a big party, it took forever for the photo taking to reach company colleagues. When they called Groom's Dad's colleagues from the Executive Office, I was the only one going up there, because all the other big bosses left... I yelled at other colleagues "hey just come up! Groom's Dad's assorted colleagues!" And up everyone went. Saved a couple of group shots that way LOL.
Gee. It's been a long time since I went to a wedding banquet. My friends (those who are the marrying type) have all married off, so I didn't expect I'd have to go to another banquet. But guess I've reached the age where my colleague's kids are getting married *rolls eyes*
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no subject
Date: 2021-02-27 18:59 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-03-03 15:24 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-02-28 05:33 (UTC)man I haven't been to a wedding in ages
no subject
Date: 2021-02-28 14:29 (UTC)Interestingly enough, the unspoken gifting and cost obligations in the States are quite similar. The food isn't half as good as yours tho
no subject
Date: 2021-02-28 15:04 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-03-03 06:06 (UTC)The rest of the food all seem so rich to me, like kind of thing you would never find in the restaurants i went to.
I feel for your gifting dilemma. This was the hardest thing i found about being in China and Chinese culture in general. I think we also have this culture in the west, but only in certain levels of society, like perhaps upper class or some upper middle class people do it. But in Chinese culture it seems much more fraught at all levels of society, every time someone invite you to a thing there is some rules or obligation. I made the mistake of someone invite me to their house, i did not bring a fruit... It's so complicated and unnecessary.
no subject
Date: 2021-03-03 15:27 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-03-06 08:38 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-03-06 09:34 (UTC)五時恭候八時入席
Mahjong usually starts whenever the people start arriving, so, maybe 4 or 5pm. It says banquet starts at 8 but common practice it starts at 9, so annoying. By the time the photo taking starts, people are tired, or drunk, and then leave near midnight. I really don’t like Chinese wedding banquets.