Spiteful Kat

Saturday, 4 September 2021 22:33
elusivek: (Default)
[personal profile] elusivek
So my cousin just said that his kid was going to a guzheng competition. They know already she will not win because the competition is really just between 2 other kids that play very well. So this really is just for the kid to gain some life experience. He asked if my Mom would go see the kid play.

Mom readily accepts.

So I just added in that, "wow, you are such an invested grandma-aunt".

Mom was confused and asked me what I meant. So I told her of a story.

The story is actually memory.

I was in Form 3 (14 years old I think?). I was kind of the teachers' favourite kid because I was excessively well behaved, polite, and mindful of doing stuff properly. They unanimously chose me to be the English Master of Ceremony for that year's Form 5 graduation ceremony. I had to work with an older student who was the Chinese MC, and we had to "stay lunch"* for a couple of weeks to practice.

We practiced so much and so well, we were practically able to seemingly have an actual conversation, I in English, and her in Chinese. I got some egging from the principal at that time to not roll my Rs so much. Heck. That was how I spoke English, and I wasn't even rolling those Rs. The principal seemed to want me to say that as Ls. Anyway, soon some Filipino teachers took over and they let me be. Because. You know. That's how English is supposed to be spoken, come on!

So, because we were also considered to be "performing" students, we each got 2 tickets for the parents to come see us. Dad was working in China I guess, so it was just Mom. I gave her the ticket and asked her to go see me. Hey, being an MC was a big thing. I was chosen amongst all those students, and then I practiced for weeks!

You know what my Mom said at that time? "Why should I go? It's not even YOUR graduation?" I begged. I groveled. I said it was some sort of life achievement for me. She did not budge.

In the end, she did not go.

After I reminded her of this story, she said I'm such a jealous person. I replied, "being jealous would mean I care. I might have cared back then, but I don't care about it now. I just wanted to remind you of how you used to treat me." This is also a dig at her because she always favoured my Sis over me, and she has some kind of insurance or bonds/fund product that she bought and she only put my Sis' name on it. And yet, I'm paying double of the "home expense money", and I'm the one who gets things done around the house. I hardly ever drive my own car anymore, yet I am the one who goes to the government departments to pay for the license for BOTH cars (and nobody pays me back for that) and I go renew the car insurance. When there's anything in Chinese I'm the one who has to read for everyone (despite my Sis having studied Chinese like me). If any of the parents need someone to drive them to the doctors or hospital, I'm the one who has to take the time off work to drive them. AND YET, this is how they treat me.

Mom sort of shut up after that and didn't talk anymore. I don't know if she's mad at me, pensieve and re-evaluating her life choices, or just annoyed that I got the last word in, but I don't care anymore.

She can go to my cousin's kid thing if she wants, no biggie. But if she wants to show the world how she is a "good" and "invested" parent/grandparent, I will make sure people know the actual truth. Yes I'm vengeful. I savor it.

*In those times, we had 2 full hours of lunch break, so students can actually go home, have lunch, then go back to school. If you had to "stay lunch" (really, "stay for lunch") you would have to pre-buy a meal ticket at the canteen in the morning. If you forgot to buy the meal ticket in the morning, then you have to pray and be hopeful that there will be lunchboxes left by the time you went to the canteen. But no worries, even if the lunchboxes were sold out, you can always fall back to instant cup noodles, which they sell that at the canteen too.

Date: 2021-09-05 00:58 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mymimikyu.livejournal.com
Aw, that seems like such an important thing for a kid to be chosen for! And what parent wouldn't want to see their kid up on stage for something cool like that ?

Date: 2021-09-05 10:19 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jeune-fleur.livejournal.com
I really don't understand her reasoning, it's so sad :( and even though it's not like that with my parents, I can relate with being the one who helps around and always goes that extra mile for others. It's really demoralizing when you do that and no one seems to reciprocate.

Date: 2021-09-05 10:59 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] newlifeinstpaul.livejournal.com

Parents really should be held accountable...

Date: 2021-09-05 23:14 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] deepseasiren.livejournal.com
Oh yes a card is on your way!

Date: 2021-09-06 00:42 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] supernutjapan.livejournal.com
Awww. 😢 I am sorry about your memory. That must have sucked. But, I do think you made her think. I hope you did anyway. Parents often feel differently about things as they grow older. My mom was not very supportive of my dieting efforts when I was young because she had her own idea of what should be eaten etc., but after I became an adult, she appologized and told me she felt she should have been more supportive. On the other hand, she has forgotten many other instances she could have been a bit nicer and believe in me more that I remembered and resented. When I reminded her she was surprised she acted the way she did. Life is spontanious and none of us act exactly how we want all the time eh? I cringe, wondering what my kids remember and resent me for.

Date: 2021-09-08 22:49 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imogen-blue.livejournal.com
Have you ever thought about moving out and leaving them to adult? Sounds like they need a reality check. =/

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Agueda Umbrella
kat (DW: elusivek | LJ: notte0)
❤︎ loves dogs, dark chocolate, and books.
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