Trying to be friendly
Wednesday, 27 December 2023 14:04![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elusivekSo there was this classmate in my Mandarin class, she’s Russian, and I always thought she was an exchange student. I’ve seen her write an email to some local government department, and one time in class when we were learning about professions she says she’s a lawyer. So I was a little confused, but figured that it’s really none of my business.
In the last class, it was some sort of game show event (sans the “show”) and I noticed only half the class was there. I noticed most of the exchange students weren’t there, so I commented that maybe they’ve left town already, and asked if she was an exchange student. It was only then that o found out she’s here for her phd.
I also don’t know if this is her first year (heck I don’t know how long a phd takes), and right before class dismissed I just casually asked if she was going home for the holidays and if she had family in town. She said no to both, and in a spur of the moment trying to be friendly I said we could go out for drinks/tea/lunch/dinner. Added each other on a WeChat (a Chinese IM, with a little more privacy than WhatsApp, seriously, I think).
I finally reached out but then now I’m thinking if I’m being too forward. Numerous times have I simply wanted to sound (lol yes, just “sound”, I don’t want to “be”) friendly and then the other party miscontrues and think I’m looking for more, ugh.
I remember that time there was a male colleague and we were just chatting with a few other people and he said something genuinely funny and I laughed, but then he went, raising and arm to like put distance between us, and say “come on, I’m spoken for” and I’m like, geez sure and congrats.
So back to this case, I’m actually regretting getting her number so to speak, but seriously I just thought she might feel alone.
Of course she could actually have many friends from school so I didn’t have to worry about that either. But really, I was just thinking, if I’m all alone in a foreign land, I would hope someone extended a friendly hand.
So.
We’ll see.
In the last class, it was some sort of game show event (sans the “show”) and I noticed only half the class was there. I noticed most of the exchange students weren’t there, so I commented that maybe they’ve left town already, and asked if she was an exchange student. It was only then that o found out she’s here for her phd.
I also don’t know if this is her first year (heck I don’t know how long a phd takes), and right before class dismissed I just casually asked if she was going home for the holidays and if she had family in town. She said no to both, and in a spur of the moment trying to be friendly I said we could go out for drinks/tea/lunch/dinner. Added each other on a WeChat (a Chinese IM, with a little more privacy than WhatsApp, seriously, I think).
I finally reached out but then now I’m thinking if I’m being too forward. Numerous times have I simply wanted to sound (lol yes, just “sound”, I don’t want to “be”) friendly and then the other party miscontrues and think I’m looking for more, ugh.
I remember that time there was a male colleague and we were just chatting with a few other people and he said something genuinely funny and I laughed, but then he went, raising and arm to like put distance between us, and say “come on, I’m spoken for” and I’m like, geez sure and congrats.
So back to this case, I’m actually regretting getting her number so to speak, but seriously I just thought she might feel alone.
Of course she could actually have many friends from school so I didn’t have to worry about that either. But really, I was just thinking, if I’m all alone in a foreign land, I would hope someone extended a friendly hand.
So.
We’ll see.
