Book: Fair Play

[elusivek]

Fair Play
Eve Rodsky
Amazon Product Link

A revolutionary, real-world solution to the problem of unpaid, invisible work that women have shouldered for too long.

It started with the Sh*t I Do List. Tired of being the "shefault" parent responsible for all aspects of her busy household, Eve Rodsky counted up all the unpaid, invisible work she was doing for her family -- and then sent that list to her husband, asking for things to change. His response was... underwhelming. Rodsky realized that simply identifying the issue of unequal labor on the home front wasn't enough: She needed a solution to this universal problem. Her sanity, identity, career, and marriage depended on it.

The result is Fair Play: a time- and anxiety-saving system that offers couples a completely new way to divvy up domestic responsibilities. Rodsky interviewed more than five hundred men and women from all walks of life to figure out what the invisible work in a family actually entails and how to get it all done efficiently. With four easy-to-follow rules, 100 household tasks, and a figurative card game you play with your partner, Fair Play helps you prioritize what's important to your family and who should take the lead on every chore from laundry to homework to dinner.

"Winning" this game means rebalancing your home life, reigniting your relationship with your significant other, and reclaiming your Unicorn Space -- as in, the time to develop the skills and passions that keep you interested and interesting. Are you ready to try Fair Play? Let's deal you in.

= + = + = + = + = + = + = + = + = + = + = + = +

hm... actually a DNF but I think I had finished the "theoretical" parts of the book, I had to stop when it was just a continuous listing down of specific examples because it was just getting my blood boil and annoyed and I DO NOT NEED my mood to be affected on this fine day.

If I have to read... "pun intended" one more time........

IMHO, you don't just breakdown tasks into sub-tasks. Nice of her to add sub-tasks to her tasks, but his tasks are just the one task... which, objectively AND subjectively can be broken down into several sub-tasks as well, so why do only her tasks get the sub-tasks? Is that to inflate her number of tasks? Is THAT considered fair?

In a way these feel like... "people with money" (first world?) problems. The never-ending chicken-or-egg question... yes, you have the home making mental load, yes, he is the breadwinner, but hey, he does have his mental load at work. He can just not work, and there will be totally no money, and with no money, you have a different set of problems.

I'm not saying I agree that the breadwinner is the total winner here. The breadwinner should also be compassionate about the home maker's mental load, just as the home maker should show compassion to the breadwinner's mental load at work. You think sitting there in the office/workplace is such a stress-free no-need-for-mental-gymnastics job?

Alright, I'm not married, don't have kids, and I do not live in the US, so I can't really comment much on the specific tasks and way of doing things and such. But hey, it comes down to respecting your partner's (be it life partner, work partner, colleague, friend, spouse, whatever) work and time and whether or not they are putting the time and thought to be considerate of the other.

Maybe I'm naive and don't get the real issue because "you don't see the problem until it happens to you" but, I think it's all about being respectful to each other's time and effort.